Siân Thomas's Story

I was born in Liverpool in February 1970. My birth mother was forced to give me up for adoption at one week old. I am not quite sure where I was for about six months, but I was adopted in September 1970. I grew up in north Wales, and I always knew I was adopted, although it was rarely mentioned. I had an older brother of mixed heritage who was also adopted, and we both had the same birth mother. My childhood was stifling and deeply difficult. I moved to London when I was 18 and began to trace my birth mother. I found out I'd had a different name at birth.

After some stops and starts, when I was 25 I had contact with my birth mother and travelled to Liverpool to meet her. It wasn't the reunion I had longed for, and she said in no uncertain terms, leave me and my family alone. I didn't try to pursue anything further, but it nearly finished me off, to be honest.

Around 2010, I reached out to a younger sibling (same birth mother), and we've had a reunion and still message each other a few times a year. It was helpful to get some genetic info. My birth mother once again denied me and said I was an imposter and pretending to be her daughter. My sibling was conflicted by this but could visibly see how much I look like our birth mother. At this point in my life, I can honestly say I've processed this primal wound, and I use my experience in my art and performance and my vocational work.

I genuinely feel compassion for my birth mother in that she was forced to part with two babies. I have four kids, and losing any of them would destroy me. It's sad she's not been able to love me and her four grandchildren.

I currently campaign and support others, and my message to anyone who has felt displaced through adoption is: lift your head high, love your wonderful self, and be easy on your heart. I wish you all in this group peace and understanding, and I stand in solidarity as your Adopted Sister. Go well, and peace be with you.