Pamela's Story

My birth mother grew up in Rockland, Maine, USA and became pregnant at 17 in 1963. She was told she shamed the family and was sent to a Catholic maternity home in Boston. I was placed in foster care at 5 days old because my birth mother had not made a decision about keeping me or placing me for adoption, despite the nuns pressuring her to relinquish her rights.

This also became a multi-family struggle between my maternal grandparents, who were divorcing at that time, and my paternal grandparents, who were opposed to placing me up for adoption. My birth father was in the Navy, out to sea, when I was born. He had offered to marry my birth mother, but she had the foresight to know that the marriage would never work.

At 7 months, my birth mother decided to place me for adoption as she knew I needed the stability she could not provide. I always knew I was adopted and was raised in a very loving, secure family. However, I was always curious and felt like a part of me was missing.

When I was 45, I discovered that I could submit paperwork to receive my original birth certificate, revealing not only my birth name but my birth mother's name as well. After a month of online research, I had my birth mother's married name and address, which was on Cape Cod (I found it in her brother's obituary). I also had her work email. I decided to communicate through that channel as I did not want to disrupt her life. She read the email to her daughter, who was confused, and this is how she revealed to her that she had an older sibling. The next day, I received a lovely email from my half sister, who was shocked and pleased with the news.

About a week later, I was able to speak to my birth mother on the phone. I was able to thank her for putting my needs first and assure her that I was in a good place in my life. I also feel as though a burden had been lifted for her, as I assured her that she bravely made the best decision she could for me. Since then, we have emailed, texted, and visited often enough that she came to my daughter's wedding and met my adoptive mother. She also told me who my birth father was.

I found him living in Newfoundland and met him and his wonderful wife and her beautiful family. He has since passed away, but I still stay in touch with them.

I will never take for granted the positivity from this experience, as I feel fortunate not only to come from loving families but to be raised in one as well.