Margaret Chute's Story

I was adopted at 9 months. My birth mother was 16 and already had a 10 month old. She tried to keep me, but with 8 siblings at home and a mentally ill stepfather, it didn’t work out. She put me into the system, and I was adopted out to a couple who should never have been parents. They already had a natural son. After 5 miscarriages, they decided to adopt because their family said it was wrong to have only one child.

When I was 10, I was talking to my mom about why they adopted me. She said, “They really wanted a boy to be a playmate for their son, but I was the only thing available.” To date, I have never forgiven her for that. She passed away 10 years ago now, and she had never said she was proud of me or even loved me.

My brother, their son, got everything. When he graduated, he got a car. When I graduated from nursing school, I got a silver bangle. I was always introduced as their adopted child. I was always second rate. I was not allowed to be involved in their end of life care, even though I was a palliative nurse. The will was also not evenly done. I am grateful for what they gave me. Life, a roof over my head, clothes, and an education, but I never had their love.

I found my birth family when I was 49. What a richness. I had 7 natural siblings. After my adoption, my mother married someone we all thought was my birth father. She even told him he was. Well, after a few years and DNA testing, it turned out he was not my father. However, I did find another brother from my birth father, so now I have 8 siblings. We are still close and communicate all the time.

Unfortunately, my relationship with my adoptive family has come to an end. I haven’t heard from anybody in over 10 years. I am not upset over it. Just an adoption that wasn’t right.