Creating An Adoption Story While Having My Own Story to Tell

I remember all those years back, sitting down and thinking to myself, how can I really expand on my story-telling. I mean, not with my own story but to allow others to have a voice, to share theirs. I had been sharing updates on my own background for a while online through my YouTube channel. In fact, I really began sharing my regular updates back in 2017. I have always carried that passion for visual story-telling. With my background in television and documentary, I told myself, I can do this. I know how important these stories are and how much awareness they grow for others who need it.

It wasn’t until the end of 2022 that I really set out a plan to begin my An Adoption Story series. I was thinking, how can I do this differently. I wanted this online series to stand out. I wanted others adopted to think, what can I watch to really help me understand others, to help me feel not so alone.

I remember gathering what I needed to start filming the first few stories for season one back in 2022. The first story I filmed was of Alexei Zarya. He was born in Ukraine, then placed in an orphanage in Russia. He was then adopted out to here in New Zealand. He had quite a story to tell. He grew up with a rare heart condition called Eisenmenger Syndrome, which is a heart and lung defect caused by untreated holes in the heart from birth. It is a life-threatening condition, but Alexei really taught me that being positive no matter what, really helps. No matter the situation.

He laughed a lot and joked about the times that he would have to go to the hospital via a helicopter. ‘Oh, here we go again,’ Alexei would say to me as he was sharing his story. He was told he wasn’t going to make it to his 30s. He just recently turned 40.

While this is one of the many stories that I started to put together at the end of 2022, it was in 2023 that these stories pretty much grew very quickly. I could see that people all across the world were tuning in on YouTube, thanking me for highlighting those complexities and the realities of adoption. I know that there are many sides when it comes to adoption and acknowledging that is needed. Always.

With me creating this series entirely myself, there have been times where I almost take a step back. It can be overwhelming. I do relate to so much that is talked about in these stories. Of course, I am adopted myself. So while I can’t directly feel the emotions that many are feeling, I can absolutely understand.

I won’t get too sidetracked here, but 2023 was amazing for me with the series. I focused and wanted to really push what I could with creating more stories for that year. At the start of that year, I also had met my now fiancée, Justene. Ever since I met her, she had been following the progress of my series and is always interested in the stories.

I remember editing one specifically and I had gone on a few dates. I said to her, oh, do you want to see what I have been working on? And it really opened up her world with adoption. She isn’t adopted herself but with just watching, she sat down and took it all in. She didn’t know there were so many sides of it and, you know what, this was the aim. To show those sides so that, of course, people who aren’t adopted can understand and feel almost (but not exactly) many of the emotions that we feel.

During 2023, I got the chance to film stories in the USA and Europe. I reflect, of course, and look back. Though while exciting to film these stories during 2023, I was thinking to myself, I have my own story. I have my own ups and downs and so many (still) unanswered questions.

During the time that we were filming in Europe, I got the chance to go to Kazakhstan, to go to a village right near the border of Uzbekistan. Long story short, my birth mother in Russia had long lost family links tracking back to this village. I was adopted at the age of two years old from an orphanage right at the top of Russia, in Arkhangelsk. I don’t remember anything. I was too young. But I have always looked back at the photos my parents took while they were there and, of course, the incredible videos that they captured.

It wasn’t until years later in 2013 that I searched and found my birth parents. They were in a ‘young-love’ relationship. They hadn’t seen each other since 1991. My birth mother, Tatiana, never told my birth father about me and so when I reached out to him, he was shocked, to say the least. But it had since opened up his entire world and he struggles to this day to put words together on how grateful he is to my parents.

My birth mother, Tatiana, I feel for her. It wasn’t until years later that I only found out about her links in Kazakhstan. Not only in Kazakhstan but finding out that she had a brother in Ukraine. I had been in touch with that family there but that missing link in Kazakhstan was still there.

I won’t get sidetracked in this note, but I can tell you. There were so many emotions during this time. While filming my series, I would carry those emotions tightly and just really realise that us adoptees do carry so much. We do keep a lot held together closely.

I wasn’t able to find a direct link to family in Kazakhstan. I had documented this journey of mine, which I finished and shared on my YouTube channel last year, called My Kazakhstan Connection. My partner, Justene, she did an incredible job with editing this project and I think what I was trying to really show was, sure, someone can go all this way and knock on some doors. But the reality doesn’t hit until you are there. And I felt that.

When I got back after this time in 2023, I had to take a step back and almost take a rest from the burn-out that I am sure I was feeling. Not sure if it was that, or if it was me being lazy. No, I am sure it was a mix of everything put together. When you’re doing this all yourself, you do feel it.

For the first season of An Adoption Story, I had done 12 episodes. That sure is a lot of filming and editing.

2024 had come by pretty quickly and I was determined to get back into filming new stories for the series. Though 2024 was a strange one. In a good way. I wanted to focus on not rushing the stories, not that I did in the previous year, but really taking my time. That is what I did.

Stories were shared during 2024 but not as many as I would have liked. Though, with me changing the style and really taking my time with them, they had done quite well. Incredible stories were shared that year. I mean to say, they are all incredible but for that specific year, something sparked and I don’t know what it was but it seemed to have just worked. I changed the style a lot.

I am not sure how YouTube works its magic but people from all over the world, and to this day, are still watching many of the stories shared as part of the series.

Getting into 2025, I wanted to focus on more of my freelance work that I do behind the scenes as with An Adoption Story, it’s a series that I do in my own time. But I didn’t stop. I just get bored if I stop putting together these series. Bored as in thinking, oh I must create another documentary story. I really need to!

During the end of 2025, I had actually started to film and again, I took my time with these upcoming stories which I would release after the New Year. Instead of filming in a few days, like I’d used to, I planned and scheduled every shot, questions asked (which I would send to those prior so they can see what I am going to ask as a rough idea) and even planned on paper how I could see the story when it’s put together.

Meanwhile, while filming all of these new stories, I still had so many unanswered questions on my own story. Also, that contact with my birth mother, Tatiana, had been difficult and with myself always thinking about what she had been through, I always understand that it just hasn’t been easy for her.

Since the start of this year, I hadn’t heard back from my birth mother. She doesn’t have a phone and the place that she stays at, they look after her but she loves to explore. I don’t blame her at all. I love her dearly and when we do talk, it’s always so nice.

She had been through so much, as I said before, and we both know that our communication will never be perfect. With me learning Russian, it flips her world upside down when we talk because she can’t believe it. She says sorry a lot about what happened all those years ago prior to me being adopted but always thanks my parents for everything. So yes, that’s on my mind a lot when I am putting together these stories.

2026 so far, has been amazing. The impact these stories have had so far this year has been far more than what I expected. With the series now reaching over 2 million views in total, it’s quite surreal.

Here in New Zealand, I had tried to get this series on a local network, but no luck. I am not worried about that as I have my own audience who continue to watch online and with it not being on a network, it’s pretty neat to have it online as it’s worldwide.

Yeah sure, the rejection emails that I have had in the past, specifically here in New Zealand, about extra support for the series have been heartbreaking and you wait and wait for answers. Which is a shame but it’s life and you know what, I find it great because now I see where the series has taken me and I can’t thank so many of those who have watched and who continue to watch.

I have more of the series to go for 2026. I have started filming the next story which I am aiming for release in late July/August along with two others after that.

Soon too, I will find out about a specific story I did, the story of Daniela, if it makes it to the finalist stage for a New Zealand film festival (NZ Web Fest). With it now having an ‘Official Selection’ badge on this story, I think it’s surreal. As knowing that I had done this all myself, I really forget how cool that feels.

I also think Daniela told her story so well and I can’t forget Roxanne who also helped Daniela with picking those pieces up in Romania, helping her connect with family there. That is one story that really had been quite the journey itself.

It’s been a ride with my An Adoption Story series, but it’s still only beginning.